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4 non-drinkers on how they navigate social anxiety at parties
Written byLiz Connor
Reviewed byHeeral Patel
The likes of birthdays and work dos are all excuses to pop open a bottle, but the idea of sober socialising can be daunting. We asked some teetotalers how they navigate nights out and still have fun
Summary
1Prepare a good one-liner
“It’s a subtle change, but I’ve found that this phrase lands more powerfully than ‘I don’t drink...’
2Explore alcohol-free alternatives
“It’s simple, but gives me something to hold and sip, which makes a big difference when..."
3Flip the conversation
“My biggest tip for people who might be anxious is to ask others about themselves...”
When it comes to changing your relationship with alcohol, the benefits are clear: more energy, sounder sleep, better mood – not to mention hangovers becoming a thing of the past. But if you suffer from social anxiety, the idea of mingling without a tipple in hand can be stressful.
Still, if the stats are to be believed, more of us are turning our backs on social drinking than ever before. Research from Alcohol Free suggests that around 20% of the population now don’t drink – and this figure is increasing, particularly among young people.1
So, if you’re part of this new sober vibe shift, how do you embrace parties, nights out or boozy work lunches when dry mingling feels intimidating? Learn from people who have already mastered the art...
‘Prepare a good one-liner,’ says Greg Phillips, a managing director who’s been sober for four months
When you rock up to a bar or party with sober intentions, turning down an alcoholic drink can be tricky. You might worry about strange looks, judgy reactions or even peer pressure to swap your ginger beer for something stronger.
The managing director at marketing agency Dee Set initially quit drinking before a routine operation, but he’s enjoyed the switch so much he’s made it a permanent lifestyle choice. “I realised alcohol wasn’t serving me anymore. I’d always considered myself a social drinker, but those occasions quickly added up – glasses of wine at home on weekends, a few beers at work events and the odd ‘binge’ night out with friends. Now I stick to alcohol-free Guinness and can feel fully present in the moment.”
What we learned: Owning your choice to stay sober shows others that you’re serious about your lifestyle choices. Just say, ‘I’m not a drinker’ and steer the convo elsewhere – no awkwardness necessary.
‘Don’t sweat the small stuff,’ says Lo Constantinou, a copywriter who’s been sober for four years
If you’re a chronic overthinker (and really, who isn’t?), going against the grain of ‘social norms’ like splitting a bottle of wine or doing group shots can feel uncomfortable.
The 34-year-old stopped drinking while trying to get pregnant after experiencing a miscarriage and facing fertility challenges due to PCOS and endometriosis. Between 2015 and 2019, after the birth of her daughter, she drank fewer than five times, and she’s identified as a non-drinker since 2020.
“I definitely curate my social life to fit my sober lifestyle,” she adds. “Most of my free time is spent at the gym or rock climbing with family and friends – many of whom are also sober.”
What we learned: Keep it simple, remind yourself that no one’s judging and focus on what really matters – enjoying being out in the social buzz.
‘Flip the conversation,’ says Megan Penfold, a graphic designer who’s been sober for six years
“My biggest tip for people who might be anxious is to ask others about themselves,” says Megan. “If the initial conversation feels slow or is dwindling, I find that asking starter questions encourages people to come out of their shell a bit more.”
The 35-year-old publishing industry designer stopped drinking before becoming pregnant with her first child. “It just continued from there,” she explains. “It was an unconscious decision. Mostly, I didn’t love the idea of caring for a small infant with a hangover.”
Looking back, she’s grateful for the choice. “After a night of drinking, I’d often binge on junk and other comfort foods. I definitely have less anxiety these days, especially without that next-day ‘beer fear.’”
What we learned: When in doubt, turn the spotlight on others! Asking questions not only eases your nerves but opens up interesting conversations, helping you to push beyond small talk nerves.
If you have anxiety that isn't going away, speak to your doctor who can refer you to a counsellor or another course of treatment.
‘Explore alcohol-free alternatives’, says Ashub Jafarnezhad, a student who’s been sober all her life
Originally from Iran, Ashub, 24, came to the UK to study journalism in 2022 and quickly noticed how alcohol-centred social life is in British universities.
“Where I grew up, drinking wasn't a part of my culture, so it was a bit of a shock to see how much of student social life here revolves around it,” she shares. “At first, I felt a bit out of place since so many people seem to build their weekends around nights out. It made me feel like the odd one out on more than a few occasions.”
For Ashub, choosing to stay sober is mostly about personal comfort and health. “I think I may have an intolerance to alcohol; even small amounts make me feel unwell, so I just avoid it altogether.” That hasn’t stopped her from wanting to enjoy the social side of uni life, though. “One thing I do to feel included is to order a drink that’s a bit fancier than plain water. It’s simple, but gives me something to hold and sip, which makes a big difference when everyone else is drinking.”
With a mocktail in hand, she says you can still feel like you’re part of the fun and no one really notices whether there’s alcohol in it or not.
What we learned: Staying sober doesn’t mean missing out on fun. In recent years, there’s been a boom in alcohol-free options that let you join in on the festivities without feeling like you’re stuck with a plain old glass of water or a basic soft drink.
The final say
While everyone has their reasons for going sober, swapping your prosecco for an ABV-free fizz doesn’t have to signal a complete social overhaul. It’s all about discovering what feels right for you – whether you still find joy in staying out all night or prefer to bow out before last orders.
And if bars and pubs just don’t hit the spot anymore? That’s perfectly fine too. There are loads of sober-friendly spaces out there, from gyms and yoga studios to cosy cafes and galleries, where you can create new rituals.
Thirsty for more? Shop all alcohol-free drinks at H&B.
The advice in this article is for information only and some of the information reflects the opinion of our in-house nutritionist and should not replace medical care. Please check with your GP or healthcare professional before trying any supplements, treatments or remedies. Food supplements must not be used as a substitute for a varied and balanced diet and a healthy lifestyle.
If you’re sober curious or would like more tips on reducing your alcohol intake, the NHS and Drink Aware have some great sources.
1. Ng Fat L, Shelton N, Cable N. Investigating the growing trend of non-drinking among young people; analysis of repeated cross-sectional surveys in England 2005–2015. BMC Public Health [Internet]. 2018 Oct 10;18(1). Available from: https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-018-5995-3
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